It’s past nine in the morning. Quite late for my morning writing practice.
I had, in fact, I’m still having a slow pacing morning.
My weekend was quite intense, and when I woke up at dawn, my body clearly told me that it was too early.
It needed more rest. So, I decided to take care of myself before doing anything else. Including having my vital apple a day.
Yesterday I had the opportunity to reflect on one of my inner struggles; control.
I’ve learned long ago that I can’t control what happens outside me, out there in the world.
However, I’ve been struggling with my inner control.
The control over my own thoughts, emotions and behaviours.
I know I can stop a thought from emerging or emotion from surging, but I should have the control on how I respond to that thought or emotion.
And that was my struggle.
Lack of will? Poor discipline?
I don’t know.
But this week, I had the opportunity to spend a day with a group of men willing to ask tough questions and to be vulnerable.
In that space, I had a kind of revelation or intuition of some sort.
What if I change my words?
What if I replace “control” with “care”?
Instead of focusing on controlling my response to thoughts and emotions, I’ll use my energy to take care of those thoughts and emotions.
I don’t know where this shift in perspective will lead me, but I feel a sense of excitement just writing about it.
And that’s very promising.
P.S. The first image that emerged in my mind yesterday, when I thought about “taking care”, was a majestic tree. And that’s curious. A few months ago, I did a visualization exercise aimed at finding my vision for the future. The image that dominated my vision was one of a tree. That’s where the drawing at the beginning of the post comes from.