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It’s not easy to have conversations on many topics nowadays. Dialogues quickly turn into arguments to win. Verbal fights that almost inevitably lead to nothing.
The only outcome is for people to leave drained.
This morning I was wondering if that is because we tend to talk about solutions.
We have a need or desire, and we ideate a potential solution for that. Maybe one that is so obvious that we wonder how come that the others are not seen it. So, when we enter a conversation, we argue for our solution. To our surprise, for others, that solution is not so obvious, and the conversation quickly turns into an argument in which everyone is pushing their solutions.
So, this morning I was thinking, “what if we start talking about our needs and desires?”
Because I believe we all have very similar and very human needs and desires. We all want to be seen, to be healthy, to be loved.
Deep inside, those needs are the same.
Instead, the solutions that we design to answer those needs are informed by our beliefs and conditionings.
And that’s where the distance between us grows, and conversations become arguments to win or even conflicts.
What if we take a step back and enter any conversation without a solution in mind but only with the willingness to open our heart and share our human needs?
Sure, it’s a risk. But we may discover that we have more in common than we can imagine.

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