My brain is quite good at understanding things. In particular myself and my own behaviours. My mind can dissect the things I’ve said or done, find triggers and patterns, discover what I should change and how I can do things differently. It can also tell me compelling and reasonable stories.
My mind can do all of this. In hindsight.
However, when it really counts, my emotions and my instinct are way faster and louder than my mind.
Do you know that feeling? When you know what would be the right thing to say or do, but you talk and act differently?
To know or understand something in one thing. To live it or be it, is a whole different story.
What I’ve understood is that it’s all about practice. Using the mind to design and plan the exercises I need to become who I want to be.
And then going for it.
Day after day.
Until I’ll get to the point when my thoughts, emotions and instincts are in sync.
It takes time and a lot of failures.
But little by little, I’m getting closer.
This morning I’ve been reminded of the disruptive power of emotions. Usually, I’m quite good at protecting this private space of reflections and writing. When I sit down to seek inspirations, I let everything that is running in my mind to wander free so that peace can emerge.
But this morning is different. Yesterday, I became aware of something that struck a nerve. I’m not even sure why, to be honest, but this is another path to explore. The point is that I woke up with these emotions flowing in my system. No matter how hard I try, I can’t get over them, and I can’t keep them away from this space of reflections. They keep coming back and engender thoughts that fill up this space.
No doubts that they are telling me something.
But even more than that, they remind me of the significant role that emotions play in our lives.
When an emotion surges, it is like a wave washing out everything in its way. Trying to resist can be exhausting. For sure, it has been for me this morning until I decided to ride that wave.
And when I stopped resisting, when I gave up the idea of controlling it, peace came.
And with it the words for this post.
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash