I read somewhere that being angry with someone is like drinking poison, hoping to hurt them. It won’t affect the people you hate, but it will surely and slowly kill you.
It happens many times in my life. I allowed negative emotions and thoughts to grow within me until they became toxic and poisoned my soul.
The irony is that while I was getting sick from my own doing, nothing was changing with the situations or the people that sparked my anger.
A few weeks ago, it happened again.
On a Saturday, someone did something that really hurt me. Knowing that there wasn’t much I could do to change the situation, I tried to convince myself that I could let go and enjoy my weekend as planned.
On Sunday morning, my partner and I went visiting some friends. We went exploring a lovely Christmas market to find some inspiration for gifts.
All the time, my mind and my heart were somewhere else.
Pain became a disappointment.
Disappointment became anger.
I was poisoning my own soul.
On the way back home in the afternoon, I realised that I was wasting my energy and my time. For nothing.
When I got home, I immediately went talking with the people who hurt me. From a practical point of view, that conversation was pointless, and it didn’t solve anything. The wound and the pain are still there.
But it helped me pushing the toxic thoughts out of my system, replacing anger with compassion.
Can you remember when you were a child, and everything was a discovery? You knew nothing, so you had to be creative and figure out everything on your own.
Before we know.
I woke up with these three words in my mind.
Sometimes I have the feeling that knowledge is narrowing my possibilities. Because I know how to do something, I’m not challenged to search for other ways. Maybe there are no different ways, but I’ll never know because I’ll automatically go with what I know.
“Reality is out there.”
I remember reading this quote in an article about native americans. Still, I may be wrong, and it’s just a false memory.
Anyway, to me, this simple sentence always spoke about wonder and innocence. I am aware that we see the world not as it is, but as we are. We always filter reality through the lens of our beliefs, so the reality as we experience it is, at least in part, an internal construction based on our knowledge.
When we don’t know, we can’t make assumptions, and we experience reality for what it is. Like when we travel to new places, or we meet new people.
What should I do? Should I write my daily apple this morning or not?
It’s almost 11 in the morning, and my morning routine has been completely disrupted. For good reasons. I’m on a short vacation in a city I love, visiting people who are really dear to me and we arrived very late yesterday night.
It’s always about getting your priorities right. A night of good sleep is vital for my health. And my health is a top priority. Friends are also over there among the essential elements of my life.
Though, this short daily moment is part of who I am. Every time I write and publish a post, I’m saying to the universe “Hey look, this is who I am. I am an author.”
Even when it’s not perfect. Even when my routine is gone or my inspiration is low. It’s not the outcome that matters the most. It’s the consistency through which I shape and reinforce my identity.
I don’t write for the outcome, I write because this is who I am.
And you know, I’ve surprised myself. I’m a lazy and undisciplined person, yet I’ve been consistently writing almost every morning for years now. I firmly believe that the reason I’ve been able to achieve this is that I’m not writing for the outcome, I’m doing it because it’s who I am.
So yes. I’m writing this morning to remind myself that I’m an author.
You have to do the work.
I don’t know where these words came from, but they appeared in my meditation, shining in my mind like a glistening Christmas sign.
I’m an introspective and curious person. I triggered by anything that engages my imagination. I hear or see something, and my mind immediately begins making connections and creating stories.
Most of these stories never leave that space. They begin and end within my mind.
Though, I’m well aware that it is only when I transform my thoughts into actions that things really happen.
As Stephen Covey said, “to learn and not to do is really not to learn. To know and not to do is really not to know.“
To do the work means to manifest my potential.
Maybe, those blinking words emerged to remind me to be more intentional in transforming my thoughts in actions.
As Steven Pressfield wrote in his book “Do the Work”, “We can always revise and revisit once we’ve acted. But we can accomplish nothing until we act.”
Power + love.
Since I wrote about it last week, this Be The Change card has been coming back almost every morning. This morning again, I shuffled the cards, closed my eyes and picked one.
Power + love.
The card comes with this inspiring quote by Martin Luther King Jr.
“Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anaemic. Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice, and justice at its best is power correcting everything that stands against love.”
For a while now, there have been tensions in my neighbourhood. Someone has stepped over the collective interests to pursue their own benefit. As with many things, they used a legal loophole to achieve their desired outcome. But with that, also came more conflict and tensions.
Looking at the whole situation with the lens that this card, “Power + Love” gives me, I can see that in this situation, the balance is fully tilted towards power.
I have the power to do it, then I do it. If you have the power to stop me, then do it. And so on.
And power, without love, is reckless and abusive.
Love is the missing factor in this equation. But how do I bring love back into the picture?
What does it mean to love more in these circumstances?
These are the questions I’m going to carry with me today.
Power + Love.