One Apple A Day #641 – an infinite story

“Can we ever know who we really are?”

Lately, I’ve been pondering and writing a lot about identity. About the importance of knowing who I am and defining my actions from my identity to make them more powerful.

Then this morning, I opened the laptop for this little writing exercise of mine. As usual, I started by clearing the space closing the programs and documents I left open yesterday evening. And in one of them, a page with all text that I highlighted on the books I read recently, this question stood out.

“Can we ever know who we really are?”

Can I? 

I mean, I know my name, story, facts, skills and so on. For sure, I have knowledge about myself, but that’s just the surface. Maps, as I wrote a few days ago.

I’m also aware that there are also parts of me that I can’t see. My blind spots. Thanks to my relationships and conversations, I keep shading more light on them, but I don’t know how many are still there.

But even if I could cast away every shadow and illuminate every dark corner, I feel that it won’t be enough. There is more to me, and to everyone that our limited minds can grasp.

That’s what makes this journey of life so fascinating to me; it is infinite.

One Apple A Day #640 – Collapse

We all live on different planes or realities at the same time.
We all share the physical and material one, where our body moves and things happen. But at every moment, a lot is going on at the emotional, rational and spiritual planes.
Very often, those different planes are misaligned, if not completely disconnected. Our body is in the present while our emotions are still trapped in the past. We walk in nature, but our mind is still in the office.

Do you ever experience that?

I do. And I also experience the magic unleashed when all those planes collapse into one. When my soul, heart and mind melt and sink into my body. When it happens, I feel a sense of connection and strength as if my energy gets multiplied.
Maybe you’ve experienced that too. When you do something that you’re so passionate about that everything else disappears. When you’re playing with your kids, and the world goes silent. When you’re with someone that you’ve fallen in love.

When all those planes collapse, it is as if your self expands beyond you.

But can we do that? How do we create that alignment?

One thing that is helping me is to have a grounding rhythm in my life. A set of rituals that I choose with the sole purpose to help all the layers collapse into one.

 

 

Photo by Matúš Kovačovský on Unsplash

One Apple a Day #639 – the power within

Some people I love, they find peace and relief in visiting holy places. Others experience unity with humanity and nature only when they step into a sacred space of like-hearted people. Some have experienced the absolute freedom of their mind inherent nature, thanks to substances. Others feel powerful only when they are within a relationship.

It looks like we need some external help to step into our full potential.
I understand that. I am no different.
To unlock my potential, I need enough trust to tear down the walls I built to protect it. And that means to become vulnerable.

It is often easier to trust an external entity, being it a place, a person, a substance or a symbol, than ourselves.
But we should never forget that the real power, the energy is already there. It is within us.
Whatever external help we needed to overcome our limitations, we must always remember that it is not the source of our energy. It is just an instrument, a door opener.

You already have all the power within you.

One Apple a Day #638 – love more

This morning I wanted to write about sacrality.

But then, I lowered the shield I use to protect my morning space, and the pain of the world flew in. All over the world, human beings are oppressed, killed, abused by other human beings. It is daunting.

And from my safe and comfortable place, the same questions keep coming back: “Why? What can I do?“.

To the first question, I don’t have the answer. And maybe there are no answers. But I keep going back to something I read in Man’s Search For Meaning by Viktor Frank.

“We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfil the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.”

Maybe these words can help me find the answers to both questions.

If there is something I can learn from all this suffering, is that love is the only way forward. 

I know, it may sound cheesy, but that’s my personal learning.

I need, and I want to love more.

And because our answer must consist in “right action and in right conduct”, to me it means to be kind to everyone. 

To smile to the cashier at the supermarket who’s having a tough day, to greet the neighbours who never say hello, to wait patiently for the old man to cross the road. There is so much I can do every day.

I’m aware that it won’t ease the pain or relieve the suffering of all these human beings around the world. 

But that’s not a reason to not start being a better human, here, today

One Apple a Day #637 – integrate and expand

I had a few experiences so powerful that they cracked the surface of my life. Some were tough and painful, others exciting and blissful.
All of them gave me the possibility to glimpse at my infinite potential opening up slits through the layers I’ve built around my essence.

However, those layers that I’ve built are not rigid and sturdy, like walls. Oh no, instead they are made of thick, viscous and sticky material.

So, creating an opening is not enough. Once the energy that opened the gap is released, those layers immediately begin to close on it. They slowly back to the old and well-known form. And the light gleaming from within begin to fade until it is all gone, and I am back where I started.

This is why what we do after a transformative experience is as vital as the experience itself.
The first days we must focus on integration. Using the strength pouring out from the newly opened gap, we must integrate into our lives what we’ve learned and discovered. We must take the time to reconnect with that energy and expand it from day one.
So the layers won’t go back to the old form, and maybe a crack, even if a tiny one, will remain on the surface.
And crack by crack, gap by gap we will be able to liberate our infinite potential.

 

Photo by Ben Klea on Unsplash