One Apple A Day #436 – you don’t have to fix everything

The other morning I was waiting at the traffic light for my turn to cross the road. Before me a couple with two dogs, a big one and a small one. Both beautiful and sociable. The smaller one, in particular, was cute and playful. When the light went green, and we all cross the road, I noticed that it cannot move one of its legs, but it was walking and jumping around as if everything was normal.
It made me think about our ability to adapt to our own limitations.

At the end of 2015, I realised that something had to change in my life.
I began my self-awareness journey reading, studying and doing self-development programs. I quickly realised that I was the one that had to change. I needed to transform myself so I double-in my commitment to self-development. I read and studied more, completed better programs, talked with many people to seek advice.
With every insight I was discovering about myself, new opportunities to grow and change were emerging.
It was an exciting journey.
The feeling of transformation was addictive, and I wanted to change everything. To become better and better.
Until I got stuck.
A few things were not changing despite all my efforts.
And I felt like I wasn’t making any real progress.

That was the moment when I learned that there are parts of me I can not change. No matter how hard I try, I won’t change them.

We don’t have to fix everything. Sometimes we have to accept that there are things we cannot change and with this valuable insight move on and live our life.

“When we let go of the things we cannot change, it frees up the energy to focus on changing the things we can.” — Tasha Eurich

One Apple A Day #435 – To be heard, start listening

“The desire to be heard is as deeply seeded as the desire to be loved. For some people, it doesn’t matter who’s on the other end.” ― David Levithan

The longing to be heard and seen is part of our human nature. It is a manifestation of our need to belong, to be loved.

In a world that is more and more crowded, in which we are flooded with data and information, and in which everything moves and changes at ludicrous speed, being heard seems a nearly impossible challenge.

People are desperately trying to be seen.
In this desperate effort to be heard they shout louder and louder.
At the point that we can’t hear anything else than our own voices.

Isn’t it ironic?
The yearning to be heard and seen is making us deaf and blind to others.

What if, the only way to be seen and heard is to stop talking so we can start observing and listening to others?

One Apple A Day #434 – An easy win

Today may be the most important day of your year.

It’s the 2nd day of this new year, but for most of us, it’s the first one of the chase of the new dreams, goals and aspirations we established for ourselves.

Dreaming and setting goals is an exciting exercise. It got us all pumped up. Yesterday our phone was flooded by wishes and inspiring messages.

Then, this morning reality comes knocking at the door, and suddenly those goals seem so big and so far away.

The first doubts pop up in our mind.

Where do we start?

What can we do today?

We have these big dreams, but we don’t know what to do, Today.

My wise friend Karen once told me “If you don’t know what to do, do something“.

The first step is the most important of them all. It’s the one stating to yourself and the universe that you are 200% committed to this journey.

So, doing something and start is more important than what you actually do.

But you need to start Today. You need to set things in motion.

Here’s a simple trick that my mentor Rossella taught me in one of our conversations.

Start with an easy win. Something so small and so easy you can not succeed.

Think about your goal and ask yourself: What is the tiniest and easiest thing that I am sure I can do Today and can take me an iota closer to my goal? 


This post was inspired by the Be The Change card I picked this morning. It says “Step forward, make yourself available. Commit.

One Apple A Day #433 – The last page

Here you are, at the beginning of the last day of 2018.
There won’t be any other day so this is a goodbye for good.

I don’t know you, but I’ve always been better at starting things.
I love the excitement of a new beginning so, I was quick to jump on new things to avoid the experience of closing the old ones.
It wasn’t important if the old things were a success or a failure. I didn’t want to leave behind the pleasure of the firsts, and I was eager to run away from the laters.

And over time, all those unclosed things started weighing on my shoulders. Like chains, they were dragging me back making my steps heavier and slower. Until I couldn’t move forward anymore.

So I had to pause and take the time to say goodbye, keep the lessons learned and then let them go for good.

When you get to the last page of the book, you need to close it to leave space for a new story. No matter how good or how bad the book was. If you don’t close it and put it away, after a while, it will clutter your desk, and you won’t be able to read anything new.

I don’t know how your 2018 has been. Maybe it was the best year of your life so far. Or perhaps it was of those shitty years you want to forget as soon as possible. However it was, you are on the last page.

Take some time to take your learnings and close the book.  So, tomorrow you will be able to start a new story without any chain holding you back.

One Apple A Day #432 – With a little help from the universe

In his book Do the Work, Steven Pressfield says that “The universe is not indifferent. It is actively hostile.” He called this hostility Resistance but he also explains that we can transform this Resistance into Assistance if we act.

My experience is that the universe is not a positive or negative force in itself. The real resistance is within us.
The universe just follows our action. It doesn’t drive them.

If you sit waiting for things to happen, the universe will sit over you.
It will squash you down with its infinite weight. Like the force of gravity, it creates a resistance making hard for you to stand up and move.
After a while, your muscles will shrink, your energy will fade and you will crumble.

But when you take action and you move, then the universe becomes an amplifier. Like a wind blowing on your tail. Step by step the force of the universe compounds and grows until you get momentum and you become unstoppable.

If you want abundance in your life, don’t sit waiting for the universe to serve it to you. Stand up and begin something. Act toward your dreams and draw the force of the universe on your side.

“Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute:
What you can do, or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it.
Only engage and then the mind grows heated;
Begin and then the work will be completed.”

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

One Apple A Day #431 – Being present amidst change

Have you already wrote your new year resolutions?

What do you want to achieve next year?  Do you have goals or aspirations? Are there new things you want to get or old ones to leave behind?

When I reviewed my last twelve months, I realised that most of the things that happened were unexpected. They weren’t in my plan for the year.

In hindsight, I wouldn’t even be able to think about some of them one year ago. They were entirely outside of my awareness.

This realisation left me with a big question; if everything changes in life, is it worth it to plan my next months?

General Dwight D. Eisenhower said that “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable“.

You should look at planning not as a way to draw a clear and detailed path forward but as a way to gain awareness about where you are, where you want to go, and why you want to go there.

About who you are and who you want to grow into.

Everything will change, you can be sure about that.  So, don’t be attached to your plan but anchor yourself to who you are and your values. This way you’ll be able to present and thrive amidst change.

One Apple A Day #430 – Trust

What is trust?

According to the dictionary, it is a “firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something“.

For the same dictionary, a belief is “an acceptance that something exists or is true, especially one without proof“.

I grew up learning that trust must be earned. That I have to prove to others that I’m worth of their trust. Though, according to the dictionary trust is the belief that something is true. And a belief doesn’t require proof.

Proofs are all about the past. When we use them to define our future, we are limiting our options to what is probable and predictable.

Trust is all about the future. It’s about what is possible beyond what it’s probable. It is about accepting that we don’t know what lies ahead and yet, we move forward. That we are not in control of anything but our choices.

Trust is a choice.

How would our lives change if we start with trust?

How would our relationships change if we choose to give trust instead of asking for proofs?

One Apple A Day #427 – Words create Worlds

How much attention do you put on the words you use?

A few days ago, while I was checking the news online, a headline captured my attention. It was about UN chief António Guterres who, during an of the year press event, called all countries in the world for a renewed commitment to a “rules-based global order“.

Words create worlds.

They have this power.

This is why it is so important to choose wisely the words that you use.

In your own life but it’s even more critical when you are a leader. As leaders, the language we use helps shape the cultures we lead.

So, what does a “rules-based global order” says about the world the leader of UN envision? To me, it talks about a world based on fear and lack of trust. It talks about protecting the status-quo instead of moving towards the future.

Is this the world that you want?

I know for sure it’s not the world that I want.

I’m ready to commit to a “values-inspired global vision“. One driven by trust, love, compassion, forward thinking.

What about your words?

Are they reflecting the world that you want to create in your life?

One Apple A Day #426 – Giving and receiving

It’s Christmas time.
That period of the year in which we buy presents for the people we love.
And it makes me think about the power of giving and the struggle of receiving.

At an emotional level, I’m used to exchange.
You give me something, and I feel the need to provide you with something in return. Or I give you something, and I expect for you to have something for me.

To give without attachment is more complicated.
Being able to just give without expecting anything in return, not even a thank you.
I observed that It’s easier when I am giving to someone in need or when I’m making a donation to a cause.
It’s easier because it makes me feel a better person. But also because when I give to someone in need, I put myself on higher ground.
As a giver, I have the power. The energy flows from me down to the other person.

As I learned last summer, the real challenge it ’s to receive without attachment.
I grew up knowing that everything as a price.
You don’t just accept something, you have to give something back.
It’s a matter of pride.
To accept something without giving nothing in exchange, that’s the big challenge.

One Apple A Day #425 – Collect vs Connect

Yesterday, during a lovely conversation about wisdom with two fabulous ladies, I was gifted with this insights; knowledge is about collecting dots, wisdom is about connecting them.

We live in an era of big data, sensors and deep learning.

We can measure almost everything.

We can know a lot.

But does all this knowledge make us wise?

I believe that real wisdom doesn’t come from having more dots but from finding ways to connect them.

With this idea in mind, I was reflecting about the way we talk with each other. Most of the time we enter a conversation to collect dots. Collecting is a one-way process from others to us. Yes, we may have to give something in exchange to obtain what we want, but all our focus is on what we get and not on what we offer.

Connecting, on the other side, is a two-way process. It’s not about the “what”, it’s all about the “how” and the “why”. When we enter a conversation to connect with others we must open up, we have to listen to a deeper level so we can open a new channel where things flow in both direction.

So, I have an invitation for you.

Next time you join a conversation, ask yourself this simple question: “Am I here to collect or to connect?”